Overcoming Gym Anxiety as a Queer Person
Beginner nerves and locker-room anxiety aren't the same fear — here's how to work through both.
Gym anxiety is very common within the queer community, especially for trans/nonbinary and gender-nonconforming folks. It can be overwhelming to step into the gym for the first time, or even the twentieth, and still feel out of place.
In my experience, there are two different branches of gym anxiety that I’ve picked up on:
Beginner anxiety
Gender-related anxiety
Beginner Gym Anxiety: Tips for New Lifters
Beginner gym anxiety is something almost everyone feels when they’re new to lifting, queer or not — here’s how to work through it.
Starting at a gym as a beginner can be overwhelming. You see a person in the gym wearing a matching set and lifting straps and think, "Wow, they must know what they are doing."
Then you start to get into your own head and wonder if people are staring at you and judging you for what you are wearing, or if you are using an exercise machine wrong. You’re not alone in feeling this way; it’s more common than you think.
Here are tips to help you through beginner anxiety:
Tip #1: Understand & validate your anxiety
Don’t push down your anxiety, try to understand and validate it. Everyone has felt that way because everyone started as a beginner, so know you are not alone in that feeling.
Try to understand your anxiety and what exactly about the gym makes you anxious. Once you have a better understanding of that, you can start taking steps to move through your anxiety!
Tip #2: Tour the gym first
Most folks get anxious about the gym because they don’t know where everything is. There are a few ways to get around that:
Ask the front desk if they can give you a tour.
Give yourself a tour.
If you’re not comfortable with asking for a tour, take a lap around the gym before you start working out and familiarize yourself with where everything is.
Tip #3: Have a plan
Most of the anxiety that beginners experience is from not having a solid plan when they get to the gym. Trying to figure it out at the gym can take a ton of mental energy and make you feel self-conscious.
Don’t just aim for a loose plan; try to make it exact. If you'd rather have someone build that plan with you, see how our online coaching actually works.
You can:
Make a list of exercises so you can mentally envision what you’re going to do.
Get an exercise app that has workouts built in that you can follow.
Once you have an exact plan, you can go to the gym with more confidence!
Tip #4: Be in your own bubble
Anxiety tells us that everyone is watching you while you are at the gym. If you have trouble getting out of your head and into your body, create a personal bubble where your only focus is on you and your workout.
You can do that by:
Creating a playlist that helps you get into the zone
Using your warm-up as a way to breathe deep, get out of your mind, and be more present in your body.
Tip #5: Exposure Therapy
While the previous tips are certainly helpful, the best way to get over gym anxiety is to keep showing up.
The first couple of times you go, it might take longer for you to get through your workout because you are still getting used to the equipment and where everything is.
The more often you go, the more you’ll notice other regulars, and they will start noticing you, too! You can start saying hi to them and even build new friendships.
Gender-Related Gym Anxiety for Trans & Non-Binary Folks
Gender-related gym anxiety is common for trans, non-binary, and gender-nonconforming people, especially around locker rooms — these tips can help you feel safer and more at ease.
Anyone who is trans/non-binary or gender-nonconforming has experienced some level of gym anxiety because of locker rooms.
Here are tips to help you with your gender anxiety at the gym:
Tip #1: Change before you go to the gym
Do what makes you most comfortable and able to focus on your workout!
Summer: Come to the gym in your workout clothes.
Winter: Wear your gym clothes underneath your layers, then remove them at the gym.
I did this for years and didn’t set foot in a locker room until recently.
Tip #2: Look for a gym with individual bathrooms
Looking for gyms with individual bathrooms will give you practice changing at the gym, with more privacy.
Gyms that tend to have individual bathrooms:
Anytime Fitness (A national chain!)
Local gyms
Powerlifting gyms
Tip #3: Size Matters!
If you want the experience of changing in the locker rooms, without dozens of people, look for smaller gyms. Going into a bigger gym like Planet Fitness might be too overwhelming, as their locker rooms tend to be busier.
Even if the local gyms have gendered locker rooms, they are usually smaller, which means fewer people!
Tip #4: Bring a friend (at least for the first time)
Even if we feel ready to do something new, it can still be scary. Bringing a friend you feel safe with to the locker room for the first few times is a great way to get comfortable.
Having someone you know will help you feel more at ease and more supported.
Tip #5: Exposure therapy (Seem familiar?)
Regardless of whether you have beginner anxiety or gender-related anxiety, the only way to get more comfortable is to keep showing up.
The more you show up, despite the fear, the easier it will get over time. I wasn’t used to seeing naked men all of the time when I first started going, but now, it doesn’t faze me at all!
Gym anxiety, whether it be beginner or gender-related, is a common experience a lot of people have. Use the tips above to ease yourself in, and you'll be able to tackle the locker room before you know it! See how other clients worked through it.
Whether you’re queer, trans, non-binary, or otherwise LGBTQ+, you deserve to feel safe and confident at the gym — or wherever you choose to work out.
If you’ve tried multiple times to go to the gym and the experience isn’t getting easier and is preventing you from being consistent, it’s okay to work out from home. If you can invest in adequate home equipment, you can still make plenty of good progress!
Or, if you’re not feeling the gym environment right now, our LGBTQ+ and trans coaches run a fully Online Coaching Program built around your pace and comfort level — no locker room required. Not sure what to look for in a coach? Read what to look for in an LGBTQ-friendly online coach.
Remember: Don’t force yourself if you don’t feel ready. Go at your own pace.